I just read your last few posts, the sit. is very complicated, even more so because of the children. I feel your pain, I to will be tied to my childrens mother. It is so painful to watch and hear, she tells me too many things about her and seeing other men. It is the most disgusting thing to think on her getting it on with a convict, I want to run away.
Somehow though I will have to get over her and be able to ignore the OMen sit. I think when I am no longer hurt I will be able to communicate with her purely for the sake of the children with out resentment.
I hope in your sit. you can set some boundaries that will stifle some of his craziness.
I don't know if it would work, but in his case he is always late. Lets say you have him email you what time he will be picking up the girls, then you can email back saying the time is ok, however if you are more that x minutes late I will have to leave because I have an appointment. No threat, just point blank I have to leave by X time.
I have been setting money boundaries with XW, that seem to be working without a fight. In the past I was giving too much, gained no respect from her, so I became very resentful. I was vunerable to get sucked into an argument with her.
For an example: she asked me for gas money and if I could meet her tonight. I said not tonight, I am doing X, I will meet you in the morning and put on X $s worth of gas. This way she only has gas to get to and from work.
I am not giving any cash, she will ask for cash and I will say I am sorry I don't have any. ( I am not good at lying, plus I don't want to, so I just don't carry much cash)
My XW controls me by my fear of what she might do and I think Andy controls you this way too. However he is losing his grip on you because of your sucesses. I think his anger is coming from being jealous of what you are accomplishing.
Jo just keep plugging ahead, you are so amazing, I know that someday he will either be left in the dust or a miracle will happen and he will straighten up.
God bless you and your family, and hugs from Texas.
