Spoke to my lawyer and told her what happened. I can't get a harrassment order or anything because of the child contact orders.

Apparently even if he'd raped me, they would still expect me to see him for the kids. She did say that causing a scene in public is illegal and that if he did it again the police could have him for 'public affray' (whatever that is).

She asked loads of questions about EX-OW and is astounded they are no longer together. I haven't seen her since the trial so I filled her in on the details. She told me to carry on keeping a diary of everything in case it goes back to court. I am saving all my posts on here.

She told me I should let DD4 go on the holiday with him, despite this, or he could have me in court for barring his access, even though I've already let him take her away once this month.

I told X the holiday was cancelled. He said he had tried to apologise. I said 'so you think a phone call will do it after that, do you?'

He asked me what I wanted him to do, then, if not a phone call. I told him there was no way I could trust him now and at the very least I want to hear the apology in person, I want him to tell me he's sorry to my face.

He agreed and asked where we could meet. I told him the pub on Friday afternoon and I said if he so much as upset me even just once, or failed to bring DD4 back, I would have him in court and bar all his holiday's with DD from now until she leaves college.

We got into this rather tense argument about the kids and the R (I know, not DB'ing) and I told him there is no reason for me to respect him when he treats me like this and that he has to accept I have a life outside him.
He started complaining that I don't respect him because I wasn't bothered enough to call and ask where he was.

I said that is pursual and I am NOT chasing after you. He said it's different if it's about the kids. I said no, sorry, I'm STILL not chasing you even if it is about the kids. Why don't you just be on time for once in your damn life?

I told him that if it wasn't for the kids, we wouldn't see each other anyway, that he doesn't like me and doesn't care how I am so why pretend? I told him all the times he was civil he was just play-acting for the kids, because his outburst was proof to me how he really feels.

He got annoyed and said how many times do I have to apologise? Oh, a lot more, I was thinking, and I want a share in interflora, a year's supply of Cadbury's chocolate, �500 worth of new clothes and a boat in the south of France.

He started complaining that I never call him to ask how his life is going. I said excuse me dear, but you don't want me to call. We are divorced, remember? and when I used to call ages ago he didn't like it.

I said I'm keeping away from you just like you want so until you start making a genuine effort at respecting me I am not going to call and ask how your day has been!

He then changed the subject completely and started talking about my book and saying will I change the DD's names in it because he's worried the papparatzi (sp?) will hound them.

We got into another row over that because he wants them written with pen-names and I have written them up as their actual names, aside from Alicia where I changed the spelling.

He said he wanted to protect the kids from adverse publicity and what about if they make my book into a film?

I said yeah, that's great, isn't it? I told him my book was a tribute to my girls so they would know what I went through and why I'm not there and that it would be great to open a book and see our DD's names in it.

I told him that it could be a great opportunity for them and if it takes off they could get asked to do TV commericials and stuff If people know who you are, you get more opportunities in life.

He disagreed and said they would be hounded by newspaper journalists.

I told him he was just worried about his reputation and what the people at his home ed group would think of how he had treated me. He denied this.

I then said I had to go and I would hear his apology on Friday. I hope to get a free beer out of him also.

It seems as if I might be in for another big disagreement over the DD's being named in the book. The draft text layout is being done now, I'm not sure if I can change it.

I know it says in my contract if I make any changes after the draft has been approved, I have to pay for script editing by the publisher.

Oh well, I will think of a way to get round him. I have PR too.

Jo.