I can't talk to him. He's beyond talking. In previous years I have tried talking, we have come to an arrangement with the kids and then he backs out of it and denies we even arranged it.
I have tried mediation - first time he said no, second time he phoned up and bullied me out of going.
I hae tried letters from my lawyer - (100 plus letters in 2 and a half years, probably more. I have a living room cabinet just filled with letters).
We tried Relate Separation Counselling - it made things worse as she dredged up loads of bad stuff. We quit going after 6 weeks.
I have tried DB'ing techniques for 2 years - works to an extent but he misinterprets my attempts to validate as being a doormat so he thinks he can do whatever he likes, which is a problem.
I tried court (2 years and a total of about 10 court hearings) - he broke all my court orders and the court welfare officer backed him.
I've tried being 'dark' for a whole year.
I've tried just communicating by email - that doesn't work as he then sends me nasty emails. It's the same with the phone.
I've tried being 'just friends' and being 'civil' so the kids can come round here, but he can never do it. He says he can but then after a few weeks he either breaks down and says he can't be my friend because he misses me or he turns nasty like what happened last week.
I have tried doing the hand-overs through a third party. Always breaks down because the third party backs out or they are X's friend etc so nasty to me and there are still arguments about level of contact.
I have tried meeting in a public place but that doesn't work as most of the major outbursts are outside and in front of the children.
X was threatened by a judge with a prison sentance - even that wasn't enough to make him listen. He DID let me see them as the order stated for 3 months but he made my life a misery in the process.
I tried CPS - they just made matters worse and recommended X have them, largely bcause they were prejudiced about my disability. I had to launch an independent investigation into them and several of my complaints were upheld.
I recieved written apologies from CPS but the main officer involved in my case skipped the country to avoid investigation and now lives in New Zealand.
The Disabled Parents Network told me this happens to disabled parents all the time and the anti-discrimination laws in this country only came in in 1995 and there is nothing specific in the act which relates to parenting. I was told to challenge the Disability Discrimination Act of 1995 in court, but no one has ever challenged it before so I would be trying to make a precident in law and I honestly don't think I can take on something that big.
It's partly why I am going to be doing the law degree.
So as you can see I really have tried EVERYTHING. When I told him I am done trying to communicate with him, I meant it.
He would have to go to counselling and anger management before I would consider trying to talk to him again.
