I like Louise Hay, I have 1 of her books. I also trained in psychosomatic medicine which is the study of illnesses that are caused by emotional states. I had to do anatomy and physiology, immunology and counselling as part of the course, which I got an A grade for.
Apparently, divorce kills more men than cigarettes, according to this medical study I read.
I'd quite like to write a book on that subject myself.
Anyway, TAG, the main difference between yourself and my X is that you recognise you were controlling and you are trying to put it right. Andy isn't. He refuses to acknowledge his part in our M break up, he refuses to acknowledge that he isn't fair with regards to our children, he doesn't recognise his anger problem and tries to justify his actions all the time.
If he was like you and was making a genuine effort, I would have him back.
It's definitely to do with his upbringing. Even his reason for wanting a D was 'my mother was happier when she got a D so I thought I would be too' (his exact words).
His father beat his mother round the head with a walking stick and threw plates at both of them while they hid behind the settee.
His father strapped him into the back of the car and nearly drove him off Dover Cliff. His father was an alcoholic and still is an alcoholic - although he is nice when sober.
But having said that, MY upbringing was the same as his and I don't have such major control issues.
