Quote: I can't call CPS as they recommended that X have my other kids (they didn't believe me; he's always so lovely, he never flipped in public and I was always crying so they believed him).
This time he is flipping out in public and you are gaining control of yourself. As you said, ask the police and your lawyer their opinion of what your other dd's are going through and how you should proceed.
Quote: My friend thinks he's furious because he can't control me or my life. Our wires get crossed, I go out, he's furious because I'm supposed to be there.
He calls everything off again and then gets mad because I don't hit the floor and die like I used to. Instead I finish my book and get a publisher to accept it. I start DD4 at nursery when he wanted her home educated. I get another man to do my website instead of him so I don't need him and he hates that.
Let him throw his fits. Come and vent here, lean on your friends and keep remembering how far you've come in your life. I know it's easy for us to say this here, you are having to live w/the fear. Keep strong for yourself and dd4. praying for your safety, T
Quote: My friend came round for the afternoon so I didn't have to be alone.
Good idea...for support, and since things have escalated (in case he stops by, does something else, etc.).
Quote: He has never maltreated them, but he doesn't care how he treats me in front of them, which is almost as bad.
It is almost as bad...it has a similar effect because he is hurting a huge part of them (you).
Quote: Instead I finish my book and get a publisher to accept it.
This is a huge sign of progress. FWIW, I'm also writing a book (my second actually) and hope to publish it in the fall. I was working on it before my separation/subsequent D occured, but everything ground to a halt for six months. I didn't feel like writing anything at all. My heart was not in at all, and I have loved to write in some form or another ever since I was a little kid. That is now changing, and I'm sinking some of that energy that could be spent on being sad into writing. So far, it's worked amazingly well, although some days I veer back towards not wanting to write anything at all.
Above all, stay safe, though. You have a lot of people pulling for you here from what I've seen.
I was accepted by a third publisher (WOW - they all want it )
I have now decided which one I want to go with and I'm going over the contract as I write this
My publisher is an American, you know. I am beginning to like American men (j/k).
What a nice end to a crap day.
Oh, and I spoke to the police and she says that the domestic violence unit will be taking a statement tomorrow and when he comes back they will either caution him or arrest him. I am going to push for an arrest because last time they cautioned him (3 years ago) he smashed a load of beer bottles in my house on purpose so I kind of think I would rather not risk repeating that.
I hope he is okay. He must be ill to have such an anger problem. I wish I could have fixed him.
From Changi airport in Singapore, Jo you know I was concerned a month ago and expressed my concerns. I'm happy for you book and X. You're too good a person to chase Cheeseless funnels. TAGIII
The bastard wants to apologise. This time I'm NOT listening. I've taken his apologies one too many times. He should learn not to do it and then he wouldn't have to apologise.
Sure, he hasn't done it in over 2 years until yesterday, but I've just taken it for too long.
First he made a call to my land line, then to my cell phone and then he sent me a text saying he wants to apologise but he was angry that I didn't call him and angry that I didn't trust him.
Well, I'm never going to trust him now. I don't care if he's angry. He flippin' tried to run me over with his car!
If I forgive him, next time it might be even worse.
I have often said to people on here that I don't approve of violent R's and the same applies to my own. I simply do not have to put up with that.
Quote: I have often said to people on here that I don't approve of violent R's and the same applies to my own. I simply do not have to put up with that.
I have ignored him.
Jo,
You are 100% RIGHT. No one deserves this. And as you say, when and what will next time be?
I know you are prepared for the consequences as his anger is likely to worsen with you ignoring him.
Jo, Stay strong and do what you have to with the law. Your XH wants to apologise because he is afraid of getting in trouble. I am also afraid that his anger will grow, so make sure you are protected by the law. I didn't become half that angry when I found out W, slept with OM last summer. (I actually told her that God would forgive her if she would ask honestly for forgiveness. He over reacted in a major fashion which is not normal.
A police officer came round today and I made a statement. They can't arrest him, though, because he didn't mark me.
They are going to caution him when he comes home and if he does it again, they will get me a harrassment order.
He has apologised. He won't like this, but now is the time to go hard-line. No more treating Jo like crap. I am going to FORCE him to respect me.
The publisher has been doing a text draft layout today and we've been discussing cover designs. I told him my ideas for covers, which was really exciting. This has to be the most interesting thing I've done in years.
My friend says she's going to buy me a bottle of champagne when I get the final publication
Just got back here. Wow, that is horrifying stuff. He has gone crazy. Who knows the reason. He's probably jealous of you. I agree wholeheartedly about getting away from him. I'm so sorry your kids are in the middle of this. He is such an ass. Best of luck Jo.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Whether it is John Gray, michelle, Fr, Allender, or my latest readingby Louise Hay; "We are all victims and our parents could have not possibly taught us what they did not know." Your X is most likely acting out his parental upbringing. He can change but he needs to see a reason to. Usually like me I must go to the dark night of the soul. It's not nice here. It's scary, lonely, and stressful
I was working on it before my separation/subsequent D occured, but everything ground to a halt for six months. I didn't feel like writing anything at all. My heart was not in at all, and I have loved to write in some form or another ever since I was a little kid. That is now changing, and I'm sinking some of that energy that could be spent on being sad into writing. So far, it's worked amazingly well, although some days I veer back towards not wanting to write anything at all.
)