Quote: Your mom probably just picked it up from being around her for a zillion years.
I suspect you’re right. Like you, I can’t imagine the C talking about W to my mom.
Quote: I think your W is saying "ZB is a good lover and I'm a terrible lover, but that's who I am and I don't plan to change."
I think you may well be onto something with that too. W has made that statement many times, but has never shown any inclination to address any perceived disparity. But who knows, maybe she keeps saying she’s a bad lover as a way of asking for help in becoming a better lover without having to so anything as overt as asking. Remember, she doesn’t talk about sex. Maybe it’s an expression of low self-esteem: instead of “I’m OK – you’re OK”, it’s “You’re OK – I’m not”. Maybe it’s fishing for the compliment that I inevitably give her when I reassure her that she is a good lover when I answer with the, “That’s OK, Honey” that MrsNOP mentioned. All I can say for sure is that the responses I’ve given in the past haven’t resulted in any change. So this looks like another golden opportunity to employ Michele’s advice: if what you’re doing isn’t working…
