Also, although MrsZB's case is more extreme than most, it is true that for women who were growing up more than 30-40 years ago, it was more common for women to believe that men should be the good lovers because after all they could just get an erection and O practically by just thinking about sex, which they did all the time anyway, whereas a woman needed foreplay from an experienced lover.
So, for a woman of your W's generation (which is pretty much mine as well), she may feel not only that you are a great lover and she is a terrible one, but on some level may feel that's OK. But times have changed. Women are expected to play a more active role and many do.
So you could say to her that you understand that she may have grown up thinking that men should make all the effort and she is not alone in this, but it is time to begin to change her way of thinking.
Most men start to learn about sex and learn how to arouse their partners when they are teenagers. They have to learn how to initiate and how to deal with occasional rejection. They are motivated to do so because there is either a personal payoff for them and/or pleasure in pleasuring their partners.
She may be learning these skills much later in life, but that doesn't mean she can't do it. No one is born knowing what to do. It's just that those who are HD are more motivated to learn how earlier and males have always been more encouraged to perfect their sexual skills.
I guess what I'm trying to say (I'm not nearly as concise as MrsNOP) is that you can express some understanding that she is not alone in feeling that her LM skills are below par, but that she can do something about it and doing so will benefit both of you and your M.
Good luck! Doglover
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Hopefully, little changes like making a suggestion the next time she professes to be a bad lover will gradually change things some more. Time will tell.
Zufriedengestellter Bube
There are many wise, empathetic and funny people here: you are my buddies - I'm grateful for your support.
