Quote: No. That’s where I worried about appearing to be portraying myself as some kind of saint. I do/did it out of a genuine desire to bring her pleasure. Reciprocation would be nice, but it wasn’t and still isn’t the motivation. The motivation is that I love her and want to please her
I really think we often shoot ourselves in the foot communication wise. The above is an example of that. I understand the fear of hurting someone you love. Truly I do. But there is a place for *honest* communication done in kindness.
Honey, I've been thinking about your concerns about not being a good lover. You know what I would really enjoy next time we make love? I would love it, if…
I like that. I even think I could do that. I just need to come up with something to put after the “if” that I really would like but that won’t push too hard. I know I couldn’t ask for a BJ, or to watch her MB, or anything that she presently believes to be too extreme. I readily acknowledge that we may never get to something like those, but I’m sure I can come up with something a little different. Maybe the starfish…
Baby steps. I would tend to encourage something that would cause her to have to concentrate on YOU for a short period of time. Because I think there needs to be tiny shift of emphasis off her and toward you and your pleasure and/or desires. But, that's just my leanings, you fill in the blank with your own.
