Quote: You've got to be pretty impressed with yourself to lay there while your husband pleasures you for a half-hour or more with such a limited sense of reciprocity. … I'm guessing that she's content to let you do that, because she's thinking her gift to you is greater.
That’s not my take on it. I may be wrong, but I think she’s just too self-absorbed. Our C diagnosed W as a “narcissistic personality”. I tend to agree. I think that plays into her uncontrolled spending. I see signs of it in her parenting. It’s everywhere.
Quote: I assume you're doing that because you feel that it is the only way you might at least get a little something in return.
Actually, I really don’t have much expectation of getting anything in return any more. I don’t mean to portray myself as some altruistic saint or anything, but I do it because I know she likes it and I want to do it for her. This past year has been much better, but I know I’ve said that prior to this big change about a year ago, all I got in return was a half-hearted HJ – if that. Many times she just drifted off to sleep. Sometimes she would even drift off to sleep while giving me the HJ. Once she woke up, I would get an apology and she would tell me what a good lover I was and how lousy she was, but that goes with the next question.
Quote: In what context has the "I'm a bad lover" come out?
I’ve heard it on a number of occasions. Generally it comes along with a compliment on my LM skills. She’ll tell me how good I am, then follow it up with self-deprecation: “You’re really a wonderful lover. I’m not any good at all, but you’re fabulous.” Other times it was coupled with an apology after having fallen asleep without reciprocating.
So should I respond with, “What can we do together to make you a better lover?”
