BJ’s are simply not on the table. Not on a special occasion, not as a one-time shot, not ever. And surprisingly enough, that’s not as big an issue as I seem to be making it here. I like BJ’s and would love for W to do them, but it’s not even close to being a deal-breaker. The reason I have mentioned them several times during my tenure here, is that the absence of them provides a good picture of our SL.
For our entire M, W has liked both manual and oral stimulation. For our entire M, she has gotten both any time she wants them. Yet for more than ten years I was denied anything but an occasional HJ. For many more years, I was denied anything more than the same occasional HJ with twice a year duty IC thrown in. Now we’re up to once a week, but it’s all by her rules. She dictates the time, the place, the position, what’s allowed, …, everything. The BJ sitch perfectly illustrates that. I’m expected to go down on her when she gets horny (rare though that may be), and I’m expected to do it if I want to get laid. But she won’t even doing it for me. Not anytime I want it. Not ever. So it’s a good picture of the lopsidedness of our SL.
To be honest, I don’t have a clue how to extend my repertoire for her pleasure. I know I’ll sound like CeMar when I say this, but I’ll do anything for her pleasure. I already do frequent massages (never get any though). I already put a great deal of effort into pleasing her sexually and I always do everything I canto be sure that she’s satisfied. If you’ve read my history out there, you know that our pattern consists of me pleasuring her while she just lies there and enjoys it. Once she’s had her O, she pulls me on top for missionary position IC. She will be the first to admit that I put a lot more into trying to please her than she puts into trying to please me. It’s not at all unusual for me to spend 45 minutes to an hour on foreplay and cunnilingus only to have her O and then pull me on top for IC. Before we started the regular IC last year, it wasn’t even uncommon for her to fall asleep after her O and leave me hanging.
W’s well aware of all of that and would undoubtedly concur with all that I said. In addition to saying she’s no good at sex, she’s also said that I’m a very good lover but that she’s a “terrible lover”.
but that she’s a “terrible lover”.
