ZB Is there a possibility that if you discussed this issue as a special desire of yours as an anniversary or birthday gift, she would be willing to do it for you? One of the fears a lot of a people have is that once you do it, you would be obliged to do it always. So something that is a strictly one-time affair may reduce the pressure. In spite of what you said about really wanting BJ for the physical pleasure, my guess is that if your sexual relationship were growing in other ways this one issue would become relatively minor. Is there a possibility you could find ways of extending your reportoire not for your pleasure but for hers? Such as massage? Perhaps expanding in other areas may make her more comfortable with trying out innovation.
It is clear that your wife has a hard time with trying out something new and my guess is that discomfort with her own body image may have something to do with it (having been 40lbs heavier than I am now, I know what I am talking about). Showing desire for her outside of the sexual act may make it easier for her to feel wanted and desired and be more willing to experiment.
BJ has never been a problem for me and it is part of our standard act. But it is also not something I do for myself, it really something done for H so if he said tomorrow he never wanted to do it again, I suspect I wouldn't miss it. So I hope you (and Cemar) won't take it as a sign of not being sexual if she does not really enjoy BJ.
