Quote: Sometimes the LDW described on this BB remind me of the kind of boring, bossy little girl who would invite you over to play but then only be willing to play the one game of their choosing.
A very good description JJ. Add timing, intensity, and any other conditions you might impose.
MrsBube also has a rather, umm, large stomach. When she's on top, she also leans rather heavily on her hands. She's either leaning forward so her stomach completely blocks access to the bits, or she's sitting more upright, but has my elbows on the bed and is holding my hands and putting a lot of weight on me. But even if she weren't holding my hands, she's still not leaning back far enough that I would have access to the bits. Her stomach is large enough that when she's standing naked in front of me, I can't see any pubic hair (and no, she's not shaved). Think female Michelin Man.
So far, W has flatly refused rear entry. But even if she tried it I don't think I could reach all the way around to the bits.
As Lou said, some people have very narrow limits of what they believe is acceptable sexually speaking. W is one of those. I know that's hard for you to understand as a HDW who likes sex. I believe that Lil's suggestion of "discovering" the starfish is my best hope. I may be able to work myself into something close to that position and discover it. If I can get her to accept it and then hopefully repeat it, I can then work on stimulating her during IC. But it will have to be baby steps.
Since we are in the "great minds think alike" camp regarding bits stimulation, I thought I'd share my new "trick" with you. For some reason, we've been having sex in the missionary position pretty frequently lately. Since this is not the best position for direct bits access for anyone involved (though it does have the advantage of eye contact and a fine view of my H's biceps in action) I figured out that a good way to maximize grinding bits action was to just splay my hand flat on my lower abdomen and pull up thereby popping my little friend out of its pocket without doing anything to block ball-slapping full thrustage. I feel like this trick renders orgasm much easier to achieve in the missionary position.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: thereby popping my little friend out of its pocket without doing anything to block ball-slapping full thrustag
Way to go girl! I glad someone likes something other than "careful", gentle sex. And I was under the impression those hairy slappers were just making the IK/tickle factor go up.
Quote: 3) It shows DESIRE!!!!!! It is in effect the breaking point between HD and LD women. It shows a love of sex!!!
I beg to differ. W & I haven't had sex since we conceived D7. During that 4 month "conception period", when we had sex ~6x/mo., W & I regularly exchanged oral as a part of foreplay. She has no hangups about oral per se, but she has absolutely no desire for sex.
I think it's possible to have desire, but prefer not to do oral because one finds it distasteful.
Pun intended.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
ZB- If you "discover" it, I want you to come up with a multi-syllabic German name for it.
I remember once being at dinner with my (then) bf's family. His sister was going on and on about the people who lived in the house next door to the house next door to them. I looked at my bf's younger brother who had and still has a very dry wit, and said, "In German you would be able to say that with one word." He thought for a minute then said, "Der Nexternexterhausen."
There are always exceptions. The point is that I have to believe that if you look at the LD women, FEW of them like giving BJ's. But among the HD crowd, the number that like giving BJ's is going to be FAR higher. If you like giving BJ's, then you probably like sex, and therefore the probability of being HD is VERY good. I will ask though, is it reasonable for the wife to get as much oral sex as she wants for the rest of her life (40+ years) while the wife then insists that her husband will NEVER get oral sex ever again? Seems like a terribly one side relationship to me! And yet my LD wife wants it this way. PLease tell me where the COMPROMISE is in such a situation!
I've been hanging around in the "shadows" for about a month now, reading the posts mostly on the SSM forum, and I don't want to hijack your thread, ZB. I promise to start my own thread soon and tell you all my story.
I just have a few comments to share right now. This is one of the most intimate and caring threads I have come accross since discovering this Forum. You folks are great the way you share with each other. I have read SSM and asked my W to read it also. I'm HDH; she's LDW. She read 3 chapters of SSM and put it down. I recently picked up PM in both forms, book and audio CD because you folks reccomended it over and over. I've been through the audio CD twice so far.
I just want to say that SSM, PM, and this forum have dissolved alot of my anger and resentment that have been building over the 27 years of our marriage.
Wishing to make a contribution to ZB's thread, I'm thinking, somewhat like Schnarch, if only we could be this revealing to our partners in our own relationships? It seems to me that it is easy and soothing to reach out to our global support community, when really what would make us truly happy is to have that break through conversation with our spouses after reaching "criticle mass".
How can we motivate ourselves to overcome our anxiety and confront our significant others?
Please don't think I'm trivializing anyone's sitch. We DO want, for the most part, to hang onto our relationships, not to lose them, so this is difficult.
Oh, and I have never had that BJ either, ZB. Yes, I want it and have never stopped wishing my W wanted to do it for me. For me, the BJ would truely say "Webermiester, I love you."
