Quote: The sex columnist who is syndicated in one of my local papers has stated that oral sex is part of standard sexual practice in our culture and anyone who is not getting any has the right to be disgruntled
JJ, HD cant touch his W's boobs, BB does not ewant to be touched amyway near her groun, I can imagine a lot of women have a absolute no go concerning anal sex.
So how does one justify if they are not receiving/giving oral sex they are being short changed. I think some people, and especially women, have boundaries in this area, that to them, are deal breakers. I am not saying you are wrong (you have a right to be unhappy) just want to have your opinion how a spouse goes from "no boob touching" (HD) to just having eveny missionary sex once a week.
My situation I am from the old school where oral was only done or asked for from maybe about 15% of the sexually active people. I try to respect BB's feelings concerning her boundaries about anything other than penis/vagins sex. Am I a chump?
You may have a winner there, Lil. Maybe I can work myself into something close to that position and then "discover" it. "Hey, this might just be fun..."
Pardone me for butting in here, but for me the purpose of a BJ is NONE of the reasons you stated. BJ's do three things for me, one, it is the best sex possible. 2) It is a VERY intimate act, for a woman to want to please me in such a way is HUGE in a relationship. Sure beats her treating it like a rabid dog. 3) It shows DESIRE!!!!!! It is in effect the breaking point between HD and LD women. It shows a love of sex!!!
Quote: The beauty of the starfish is....You just spoon up behind her in all innocence.something the two of you both discovered. All parts are in easy reach of both of you. It's comfortable and you can stay in it for hours if need be.
Lil, I don't want to speak for anyone else, but I have similar problems with W's weighr and mostly her attitude.
You say its easy to reach the bits and comfortable. Well I tried and similar to ZufriedengestellterBube's W, I dont get co operation so the only way to actively have sex (that is if you can convince a W to have sex) in any position other than what she is willing, is to force it on her, brow beat her into it, have another argument, have another one sided talk, have another talk where you have to prove you are right, have another talk where you agree to disagree and/or give in again. Or worse just say you don't want to live together anymore.
Sometimes the talks are productive, but most of the time not much changes for the long haul. (BTW don't take this as a complaint. I listed the hurdles some people have to go through before making any progress)
My point is, some people only see the sex thing in a couple of very narrowly defined ways. That is the problem. The starfish would be comfortable for me with a willing partner but when the SO does not want to do much in the first place, they come up with a lot of reasons why there way is the only way, or why no sex is even better.
Lil, I wish more women would be like you present yourself on the board. Wanting something, willing to learn something new, willing to try things, willing to see things from the other persons prospective, Willing to say how you feel about your personal beliefs.
Lil, the above paragraph (You say its easy to reach) is what I am trying to work through and have a happier couple. I say couple because I want BB to be happpier too and look at her as an individual, more than a spouse. I suspect ZufriedengestellterBube wants something similar and he wants the sexual satisfaction too.
ZufriedengestellterBube, I just want to say it sounds like your W is a lot like mine in many ways. I was just posting what I felt my M was like, and was assuming you felt/experienced some of the same things.
Lou
PS Lil, I think your idea was a very good suggestion no matter what I wrote above. I wished it would work for ZB.
Quote: 3) It shows DESIRE!!!!!! It is in effect the breaking point between HD and LD women. It shows a love of sex!!!
I'm going to show you the fallacy of your logic in a way that even you can't deny, CeMar. My HD sister does not particularly like giving BJs, simply because she has a very small mouth, but she loves sex in general and frequently and is very fond of a variety of practices most people would consider borderline kinky. However, according to your definition she would be a LDW. Now, does that make sense?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
Quote: So how does one justify if they are not receiving/giving oral sex they are being short changed. I think some people, and especially women, have boundaries in this area, that to them, are deal breakers. I am not saying you are wrong (you have a right to be unhappy) just want to have your opinion how a spouse goes from "no boob touching" (HD) to just having eveny missionary sex once a week.
You make the point that many women have "deal breakers" concerning not doing certain sexual activities. I believe that there are many people who have "deal breakers" concerning doing certain sexual activities. Those people never end up on this BB because they resolve their sexual issues right away because they are such a high priority for them. I mean I'm certain that there is a guy out there who is the exact clone of CeMar except that the first time his wife said "I don't want to give you BJs anymore." that guy said "That's f*cked up! I'm outta here.".
My personal opinion is that it is quite selfish to not even be willing to try something your partner is interested in sexually. Of course, I also think it is quite selfish to not be willing to expend a bit of effort to help out a horny partner even if you're not exactly in the mood at the moment. There are a lot of sexual activities that don't appeal to me but if I had a partner who was into one of them I would at least try to figure out what it was about that activity that they found appealing and affect some sort of compromise psychologically if not physically or vice-versa. For example, a woman who really didn't like the idea of swallowing could learn to do the water fountain trick or someone who didn't like nipple clamps could still be willing to put them on their partner etc. etc. etc. Sometimes the LDW described on this BB remind me of the kind of boring, bossy little girl who would invite you over to play but then only be willing to play the one game of their choosing.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
I like to give BJ's but I don't do it very often because I have a small mouth as well. In fact it is so small that I had to have 6 teeth pulled when I was little in order to be able to fit all my teeth in there. It is hard for me to give them because I am always concerned that the fit is too tight and I'm going to hurt him. Deep throating is fine but I can't do it for longer than, say, 5 minutes or I feel like I'm suffocating.
Cemar, I think what you need to say is: I like BJ's and sure wish my wife would do it.
You are speaking for all of mankind and that's just asinine.
WB, I'm confused about not being able to reach the bits because of her weight..? I mean, if she's on top, they are right there, aren't they? You may have to shift some flesh around but they're still in the same spot, no?
This is an issue that I'd push if I were you. I believe that your wife and GGB's wife do not desire sex because they don't particularly enjoy it, as they are not being stimulated. I am HD, though, and you should certainly take my advice with a grain of salt. I wouldn't even consider having sex without stimulation, as a matter of routine.
What does foreplay consist of for you guys, if not stimulating her clit? I'm wondering if you could start with that and work up to stimulation during sex.
HP, My goodness, you got me all flushed just talking about deep throat I've never had the pleasure . MrsGGB only recently got comfortable enough to put it in her mouth at all, and it is only the tip. Anything more, she says makes her feel like gagging (I'm only barely average sized at best if you believe the averages). The BJ ends as soon as any leaking happens , and often she'll only lick the sides, i.e. it never goes in her mouth. Oh well. Not a deal breaker for me, but would be nice.
For me, foreplay does include stimulating her clit, without that much I don't think I could get her even started. The problem is she stops the stimulation as soon as she starts up the hill because she gets "panicky". She's not big on letting me stimulate it during IC either.
I know what WB is say ing about reaching the bits while on top. MrsGGBs tummy is still, how shall we say it, pendulous from the pregancies. It does make it pretty hard to reach the bits when she is on top, especially since she likes to lean forward. They are also hard to reach from behind because of the distance around. I can reach them in missionary, but as I said before, I don't have the GI-Joe wrists, so it is hard to get proper stimulation. Starfish works well for reaching the bits. ZB: I think your W may like the starfish position, as long as she doesnt' start wondering where you learned about it, LOL
Ahhh, she's leaning forward. You know, I keep forgetting that I am HD and while I like to lean forward too, as I said earlier I wouldn't even THINK of doing something, as a matter of routine, that would restrict access to the bits. If and when he raised his hand, I'd lean back pronto. That is, I'm not doing anything to keep it hidden. I think that is the general idea with MrsGGB and MrsZbube. I still can't fathom why anyone would do that but I have accepted that what you say is true. I hear you saying that she gets panicky going up the hill, but I keep forgetting that part because it is my favorite hill. Well, actually, the summit is my favorite part, but I'm suspecting you already knew that.
I've never had the pleasure 
. MrsGGB only recently got comfortable enough to put it in her mouth at all, and it is only the tip. Anything more, she says makes her feel like gagging (I'm only barely average sized at best if you believe the averages). The BJ ends as soon as any leaking happens 