Quote: The beauty of the starfish is....You just spoon up behind her in all innocence.something the two of you both discovered. All parts are in easy reach of both of you. It's comfortable and you can stay in it for hours if need be.
Lil, I don't want to speak for anyone else, but I have similar problems with W's weighr and mostly her attitude.
You say its easy to reach the bits and comfortable. Well I tried and similar to ZufriedengestellterBube's W, I dont get co operation so the only way to actively have sex (that is if you can convince a W to have sex) in any position other than what she is willing, is to force it on her, brow beat her into it, have another argument, have another one sided talk, have another talk where you have to prove you are right, have another talk where you agree to disagree and/or give in again. Or worse just say you don't want to live together anymore.
Sometimes the talks are productive, but most of the time not much changes for the long haul. (BTW don't take this as a complaint. I listed the hurdles some people have to go through before making any progress)
My point is, some people only see the sex thing in a couple of very narrowly defined ways. That is the problem. The starfish would be comfortable for me with a willing partner but when the SO does not want to do much in the first place, they come up with a lot of reasons why there way is the only way, or why no sex is even better.
Lil, I wish more women would be like you present yourself on the board. Wanting something, willing to learn something new, willing to try things, willing to see things from the other persons prospective, Willing to say how you feel about your personal beliefs.
Lil, the above paragraph (You say its easy to reach) is what I am trying to work through and have a happier couple. I say couple because I want BB to be happpier too and look at her as an individual, more than a spouse. I suspect ZufriedengestellterBube wants something similar and he wants the sexual satisfaction too.
ZufriedengestellterBube, I just want to say it sounds like your W is a lot like mine in many ways. I was just posting what I felt my M was like, and was assuming you felt/experienced some of the same things.
Lou
PS Lil, I think your idea was a very good suggestion no matter what I wrote above. I wished it would work for ZB.
