I believe there will always be maintenance, although I think it becomes easier with time as new habits start to replace old ones. There will always be the tendency to slip into behaviors (and thought processes) that come naturally to us, so that is where the effort and maintenance comes in.
I don’t think there is anything wrong in wanting to grow further. It is natural and human. I understand your fear of backtracking if you ask for more, and she is already stretching herself. In my situation, the dynamics have changed somewhat. When we started this process, my H was (understandably) frustrated that I would always want “more” from him sexually, because I had a history of doing that. Recently, he has been telling me that if I wanted to ML or try something new, I should ask. This is somewhat surprising to me because of his earlier strong stance on the subject. I think it is because when I do ask for something now, it is not out of neediness, but it is stated as a preference, it gives him a choice and he can respect that. It is also very rare now for him to reject me or withhold or decline to participate in an activity that I want.
I guess what I am trying to say is that once you have been in the comfort cycle for a while, it is okay to redraw the baseline IF both partners are agreeable. If your quest for more variety is not sitting well with her, maybe you have to coast in the comfort cycle for a while longer.
