I guess what I was getting at is you seem to be asking the question "Is it okay to be dissatisfied?". It seems unlikely that any of us could ever be perfectly happy with our marriages because none of us are perfect and neither are our spouses but it seems reasonable to want to be reasonably happy with our situations.
Let's pretend you were my next door neighbor. Maybe you would envy my H because you know that I give great head because you were a little too close to our bedroom window the last time you watered the lawn. OTOH maybe my H would envy you because when he brought over some mail that had been misdelivered he noticed that your W keeps your house in absolute ship-shape. Two things are true when you consider this scenario. The obvious fact is that people have a tendency towards thinking that the grass is always greener but the second thing that is true is that nobodys marriage is really a closed system in which all behavior is only relative to that of your spouse. There is no way of closing yourself off from the knowledge that most other women in our culture do give their H's head on occasion.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
