conflict avoidance

[MJontheMend]

I will admit that I have been a major conflict-avoider in my marriage but recently I've been thinking that it's kind of understandable given my H's propensity to go totally "agro" when I do stand up for what I want. Why wouldn't I naturally want to avoid a scene like I had to deal with this weekend in which I was called a c*nt and a 200 year old kitchen counter was destroyed? I was able to hold on to myself during this encounter thanks to skills I've developed since being on this BB but I think it's important to recognize that in many relationships the reason one partner becomes a conflict-avoider is the other partner has the tendency to instantly bring out the big scarey guns in reaction to any conflict. I don't just mean physically aggressive behavior either. One example that pops to mind is the fact that several of the LD wives of men on this BB have threatened to leave as soon as their H's summon up the nerve to stand strong on the sex issue.