I wonder what it is about a woman's tears that feels so bad to a guy? I'm not saying it's a bad thing-- it's no fun to make someone cry-- but it seems that to many guys, saying or doing something which triggers W's or GF's tears is right up there with thermonuclear war as something to be avoided at all costs.
When my bf did the vertical drop at the Undefended Love workshop, the sitch he chose to focus on was one where I am hurting and crying and there's nothing he can do about it. It doesn't even have to be that he caused it. When our dog Jessica died, I held her body on my lap when we drove out to my house in the country to bury her, and I just wailed and sobbed. He was absolutely beside himself! But it was something I had to do to just get the feelings out--
If something he says triggers (note I didn't say "causes") my tears, it's even worse.
Is it because tears are in the Women's Realm? A place where guys have been forbidden to go? Sort of like, not exactly a secret weapon... but something that's in a secret code... do they perceive it as a woman disappearing into a place where they cannot follow... they have to just sit and wait in agony until she crawls out?
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Okay, why do I stay?
My BF just called. He can be so darn sweet and cute in the right frame of mind. He thanked me for hanging in there with all of his cr@p, for being so supportive, for believing in him... hard to resist that. He's changed jobs again, and finally, I think he's in the right one, where he can enjoy some success. At moments like this, when he reaches out to me with sweetness and affection, I feel that I can hang in for the long haul...<sigh>
