Interesting weekend… It started Thursday night with more of the same “OLD” HFO and W. A heated discussion went a direction neither of us wanted it to. The tension carried over into Friday with a much needed phone conversation. (W broke the silence, good for her bad on me.) We decided to go out Friday night and try to work it out. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel it was the time or place. Instead I enjoyed it for what it was…some QT for us. Once we got past the tension of not broaching the topics neither of us wanted to start in with, we had a really nice evening.
Saturday morning we tried to schedule some time in the day but life with three children soon foiled that idea. Instead, we managed a truce and had a pleasant day. I started night school last Tuesday so W’s Bday celebration was postponed until Saturday night. The bonus was she didn’t know it until I brought the cake out. I guess it was a brownie point on my card because we were able to forget about what was bothering us and spend some QT on the couch. We agreed to some time on Sunday and actually had it. It sometimes amazes me how much you can accomplish in an hour (if you can get even that). As it turns out, an hour wasn’t near long enough so we locked ourselves into the basement after taking time out for dinner.
W needed desperately to talk about money and, tongue in cheek, remind me of certain goals I had made her aware of. I was able to explain to her my intentions in a way she understood and accepted. I told her how I was being patient with her and how I felt she needed some time to resolve some of her menopause issues before being able to approach our issues. We had a good talk about finances and how we are going to better approach how we handle them in the future. The ground work was laid for a budget we can both work with and at the same time, be flexible about. I was able to express my concern about her lack of effort in working with me on R issues. How I want to work WITH her and some of the reading I’ve done and what I’ve learned. She agreed that more effort could be done on her part and we are going to spend some time each week to read and discuss. We both expressed how proud we are with each other on the progress we have made and how we recognize the effort the other is making. We also apologized to each other for our shortcomings and that we will work on them.
All in all it was one of the best R talks I can remember in 16 years. We even started a list of things for us to do together that put some fuel in each others tanks. Tomorrow we’re doing #16 and have started plans for #37 in the summer. Last night was #1. Patience, faith & Love: It just keeps getting better.
HFO
Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past. – Alexa Young
