Doing it right, this time

[alanah]

HFO:

Thanks for the update. It was encouraging to read!

I am impressed by your awareness: of what you need to provide for your W. in terms of family time, of an ongoing necessity to keep up with 180's, of your own need for cave time. Sometimes I am struck that we short change ourselves in life not because we are unable to make changes or do things differently but because we are complacent and allow ourselves to be unaware of what changes would be beneficial. I think it takes a lot of energy to remain sensitive and aware so make sure you do make time for "cave time".

How does your W respond to your 180's, HFO? Is she making changes in response? Do you think she'll let you know next time a similar situation occurs (ie: when she gets off the phone)? I find it very refreshing that you are able to say to your W:

How am I supposed to know if you are off the phone if you don't tell me?

and then:

And I refuse to go to bed angry over this.

My H. would've been upset and resentful that I pointed out behavior to him that was less than courteous. And suggesting to him that his behavior had made me angry....even if I told him I wasn't going to be angry anymore....would've sent him into a cave big time.

I'm happy for you that a family vacation factors into your future. Are there any pitfalls from previous family vacations that need to be recalled so they can be avoided on this holiday? Wishing you a time of fun and rejuvination!!

~Alanah