Glad you identified the changes and cast them in a positive light. That's growth, and I hope she sees this too.
Uh, as someone who feels quite similar to your W about other things taking priority over her, I just want to give you something to mull over on the Urban Bus. (Have fun!)
Some of this is due to baggage I carry, but I carry it for a good reason. It still gets in the way, and it's something I think still warrants some more self work (for me, at least).
I think this is the time to step up the QT and WOA. Call a "heads of household" meeting once a week to go over the schedule? Ask W what things are on her plate, tell her what your week is going to look like, and then map out some cave time for each of you and together time too.
Find a way to let her know that work is important because it provides for the family, but that the family is more important. I know if I heard those thoughts delivered with sincerity and a sense of caring about what I felt and thought... I would be more than understanding and very cooperative.
The more conscious thought that goes into the caring atmosphere, the happier I am about other things that used to really trigger my fears. Like your W, I really want affirmation that I'm important--more important than the troubles that are always present. More important than a job that provides income. I'm pretty sure your W wants the same things from you.
Whaddya think?
Have a great vacation! A family vacation... something you longed to do when you first started posting. Something to really celebrate.
Hugs,
Betsey
"There are only 2 ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle."
Betsey 
