Hey TripleJ! Thanks for stopping in. And thank you for the kind words.
OpenHeart & KGBKK, WELCOME! I’m glad a fool could offer some encouragement. Oh, and KGBKK…nice closer line.
Update/musing:
W is having some flashbacks to time gone by where she would feel my work comes before my family. This is an area that will require patience on my part, as time goes by I’m hopeful she will realize that it is not the case. For those following along, my work is not your average 9 to 5. A work day can change from 8 hrs to 16 at a moments notice. I believe I’m more mindful of the time I spend at work and ensuring I make up for the extra time there with heavy deposits in her love tank when I’m not. My guess is that her perception is somewhat clouded by past behaviors. We talked at length on the subject a couple of nights ago. She acknowledged the changes she has seen but is still haunted by the memories of being left alone too often. Other than time and effort on my part, I’m at a loss as to how to put her mind at ease on the subject. Suggestions welcome.
The kids are great. Healthy, all of them. S11 just became S12. D9 and S14 Have their Bdays in August. We had a blast of a birthday outing with S12 and 6 of his buddies (S14 & D9 too) at a local water park. W took full advantage of the time off from them and spent the afternoon lazing in the sun. I really don’t know who had a better time, me or the kids. By the end of the afternoon I had taught them all how to get the maximum speed out of the slides. Poor lifeguard. I felt sorry for her. Kids were obtaining air speeds previously unheard of out of the slide chutes. No broken bones and only one skinned knee. Oh, and a bit of a fat lip. Not bad.
On a personal note, I’m seeing an increased need for cave time. The juggling act is getting a little tough to do without it. I feel guilty for the time I spend at work and will sacrifice “me time” to make it up to the family. This, in the end, only serves to drain my tank of energy. More thought required. More discussion with W about finding a happy medium. More patience on my part, as I continue to make up for the past and build a better future. Last Saturday was a good helping of cave time when I was able to spend about 6 hours on the Go-Kart I’m building for the kids and me. I think I’m doing pretty good, it’s only taken 12 years of collecting parts and material. I rebuilt the engine 2 years ago and the frame is actually starting to look like one. I digress.
Last night got a little shaky. I called in the morning to see if helping a friend was going to conflict with any plans. He needed my help to modify his new shed. He had a contractor do the framing and they made the roof eight inches too high. We lifted it, blocked it, cut the walls down, and put it back in place. I didn’t know the full scope until I arrived and it went a little later than I thought it would. We busted a gut to get it done but still got rained on a bit. I got home about 10 and W was on the phone with a GF. She was laying in bed and having what looked like a private convo. I was tired and wanted to go to bed but signaled to ask if she would rather be alone, she motioned a positive. I left her alone and went downstairs to veg in front of the TV for a bit. D9 went to bed when I got home and S14 was playing on the computer. Just before 11, S14 is going to bed and we say good night. I figured W was still on the phone so I left her alone to wait for a signal that she was off. At 11:30 I ventured back to our room to see if W was still on the phone. She was asleep. I was now ticked! When I climbed into bed and as politely and calmly as I could…”How am I supposed to know if you are off the phone if you don’t tell me?” I felt I was deserved a little courtesy. After a quick “Sorry” and “S12 is at X’s for a sleepover.” She rolled over in silence. Past behaviors would have seen me go silent and take the same “silent” posture as her. I rolled over to her and said “And I refuse to go to bed angry over this.” I kissed her, said goodnight and we spooned into dreamland.
Two things I get from this. (Please chime in to correct me as sought fit.) 1: I expressed my discontent over something when it happened rather than get upset and turn it inward. Only to have it come out wrong some other time.(A 180) 2: More proof for W that things are not what they were.
On another note. We’re getting out of Dodge and heading cross country to visit W’s parents. I’m taking next week for holidays and we are going to have a wonderful time. The IL are getting on in years and we want the kids to see them as much as they possibly can. It’ll be nice to see them and I’m looking forward to some QT with my family. The “UrbanBus” leaves Friday.
I’ll try to be more diligent at keeping my thread up to speed. Next week aside. If I’m not back before hand, have a great week all.
Cheers,
HFO
Forgiveness is the release of all hope for a better past. – Alexa Young
