I've been working on the farm for three weeks now. S13 spent the first two weeks with me, and we had a great time. S13 took care of the calves - with a little help from me. We both enjoyed the time together, although I think toward the end of the second week, S13 was deliberately slacking off so I would come help him.
My first weekend back with the family was for a visit to our state fair, where I work at the wrestling tournament. Very pleasant and relaxing weekend.
The following week was full of arguments. Every phone conversation with W turned into an argument. Finally, today, W and I had a good conversation. We didn't talk about anything important, although W did say she would bring the kids and stay with me Thursday and Friday and asked if we could do a family activity Saturday.
I had asked earlier this week if the kids could spend their last week before school started with me. W immediately got suspicious and wanted to know why I didn't want her to stay too. No amount of explaining would convince W that I would love have both her and the kids here. This was a source of most of our arguing. I kept my comments fairly gentle, but W is taking serious offense to innocent questions or comments.
The more I think about it, the more I think W's anger is less about what she is arguing about, and more about me chosing to be a dairy farmer. W is also angry that I told her I could not talk to her about my career choice, because she doesn't talk to me, she just gets angry if she doesn't like my point of view.
Somehow I've got to keep phone calls with W over the next several days peaceful, so that I have a chance of W not hating her couple of nights this weekend on the farm.
Maybe my best bet is to not give W anything more to be angry with me about, and to trust that God will change her heart to enjoy being a farmer's wife - or to at least enjoy being married to a farmer.
