W decided she is not going to move. We've taken the house off the market and I've agreed to stay in an extra bedroom in my parents house so I can work on the farm. W and 3 kids will stay here. The idea is we both think about how much we need each other.
This was actually W's idea, and was offered as a compromise so she could justify cancelling her appointment with a divorce lawyer. When I expressed concern about W setting me up for abandonment charges, W offered to keep the appointment, but have the lawyer draw up an agreement for W to sign that I was not abandoning her and the kids. I told W we didn't need to pay a lawyer to draft an agreement so W cancelled the appointment.
I believe W sincerely does not want to get divorced, she just has a lot more "emotional baggage" to process before she can accept this lifestyle change.
I am not happy about this at all, but I pray that this will give W time to think about what she really wants, and claims to not want.
She claims she does not want to live on a farm. I explain to her that we don't have to live on the farm, just close enough for me to work there.
She claims I will not make enough money. I agree, and explain that is why I need her with me so we can pool our income and afford the standard of living we both want.
She claims to want to make it on her own, but then claims there is no type of employment that interests her.
She claims we will be too close to her family, which she wants nothing to do with. I support her decision to keep her family out of her life no matter where we live.
I've asked W a few times, "If I live with my parents and you stay here, what is next?" She doesn't have an answer. However, our R has been much better the last week, sitting together watching TV, going for walks, impromptu hugs, even kisses, and no fights.
Last night W said she would prove to me she was a good wife while I was gone. I expected W's feelings of guilt about her behavior while I was in Iraq may be a strong deterent to us moving closer to my parents.
Hopefully this time apart will help W heal. I also pray I won't be resentful, which I am already starting to feel.
