I've been on and off the BB for more than a year now - mostly in the Infidelity forum, and God has blessed me more than I can possibly share.
Now I think God is testing the gifts he's given me. My last day at work is June 24.
Needless to say, this has resulted in some additional stress at home. Overall things could definitely be worse, but I'm terrified they WILL get worse.
I have deliberately not brought up with W that I intend to move back to the family farm, and take over for my Uncle who just retired June 10. A few months ago I successfully discussed moving back to the farm as part of our 5 year family plan. W agreed that once she had discovered herself and found a career, she would like to move back to the farm.
But I recognize that our R is not strong enough yet for me to bring up my desire to move back now without initiating a fight response from W. I even shared with my sister when I called home to tell my parents that I had lost my job that I could not tell W I wanted to move back to farm, because she would deliberately resist moving back, just because I brought it up.
I have an appointment with an outplacement firm this afternoon and individual C with our MC this evening. We have joint MC this Wed. I’m counting on joint MC to discuss moving to farm.
I see four potential outcomes 1) W accepts moving to farm and we live happily ever after 2) I move back to farm and W leaves (Who gets the kids?) 3) I get another job, not on the farm, and W still leaves me. 4) I get another job, not on the farm, and in a few years we move back to the farm.
The difficulty I’m having is W’s 180 degree attitude changes toward moving back to the farm. One day she’ll be talking about how as a child, her favorite show was “Little House on the Prairie”, and she’d dream of enjoying a simple, rustic life like Laura Ingalls. The next day she’ll blatantly state there is no way she is ever moving to the farm.
She’s always enjoyed herself during our visits, but makes such a fuss before we go, and for awhile, refused to come with us when we went to visit.
We are at a point were I have to do something. Is the right thing to do what I feel to be right and move to the farm, in effect forcing W to accept a wholesome lifestyle and take the chance she’ll leave? Or do I continue to put my W first, at the expense of my own desires?
