I heard a radio program were a woman that has a Phd. Felt she was often criticized by her H or her H had a better way to do things most of the time. The host determined the woman brought her doubt into the marriage from he family of origin and her H confidence attracted her to him prior to marriage. Now her lack of confidence and his confident is a problem in the Marriage.
The radio host speculated the woman was reluctant to make decisions based on the woman’s statements she did not like being wrong or did not like to make mistakes. The radio host gave the caller an assignment, to make decisions based on the facts available and not investigate everything to death. The caller was to make 6 mistakes over the next several days and report back to the host. The host suggested the caller would not die if she made a mistake.
HD could it be you fear making a mistake so much that you are all up tight and it shows to your W? I know for myself, being frustrated and wanting to do something that works and has a good outcome, causes me to not do anything at times. This leads to more frustrations, forgetting to do things, spending too much time looking for answers, spending too much time determining which course of action will cause the least stress and work the best. Also if I do the wrong thing, then I am the AH. I want to be a good guy.
The above traits (gathering information, wanting to make the right decision, not wanting to hurt other people, wanting to be a good guy/gal are all normally desired traits. It’s the no decision or postponing the decision is where the problem lies.
Just a thought. The radio program seem to fit your and my situation when I was listening to it. People have to be willing to fail sometimes.
Hi Cemar. Yesterday you posted something very interesting for me regardiong my H sex situation. You said that maybe he wants sex to me emotionally close to me? how? It is important for me right now because i believe what you said , that men derived their self worth based on their sexuality. Please write
Quote: I have seen a much more positive attitude in you here lately, but to see you call her 'the wife', well that just makes me groan inside... ugh, he's one of 'those' guys... Not very f*ckable in my mind, sorry! Even if you never say it in front of her, women can pick up on that attitude Cemar, and this may be what is turning your W off of kissing/touching/ML.
What's wrong with "the wife"? It's not like he wrote "that old battle axe" or "the ball-and-chain."
I don't really know much about Cemar. Except his situation is remarkably similar to mine. For all you know he might be a very fine husband. He might be doing all he can.
Let's cut C a little slack . He comes here and rants. We all do. The consistency of his message shows that he is not getting anywhere. Neither am I . I'm just a little more fatalistic than he is, I guess.
Hang in there C! I'm rooting for ya!
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
I don't remember if you said your husband was HD, but here goes and what I say is not true of all HD men. HD men are made for sex. It is part of who they are, it is deeply ingrained into every aspect of their personality and lives. It literally is as important to a man as communication is to a woman. In fact, sometimes men use sex AS communication. It is the mans primary emotion. Screw with a mans sex life and you will totally screw him up. I would strongly suggest that you read the following book: Secrets About Men Every Woman Should Know
It is like the owners manual for women with HD men. I was amazed at how closely I resemble the HD men this lady talks about i the book. If ou follow the advice in this book on how to treat a hd man, you will have a very happy husband.
The author also wrote a book about women so that men can better understand women. It's like 5 times longer then the man book, so what does that say? You know your in trouble when a woman author says that even women do not understand women.
Thanks!!! Since we are not getting anywhere, is there someone out there that is? I saw one wife that had really made some good changes, but they seem to be attributed to a correction in medication for her thyroid. Is there any very LD to ND women that have actually become passionate?
Thanks!!! Since we are not getting anywhere, is there someone out there that is? I saw one wife that had really made some good changes, but they seem to be attributed to a correction in medication for her thyroid. Is there any very LD to ND women that have actually become passionate?
Um, sure. How about CinemaNymph? Or InHerJourney? Or GreeneyedLass? Or how about Mrs. NOP?
The common thread with all of these women is that they decided that they wanted sex in their lives and have taken responsibility for it.
None of them are my wife.
SM
"If we will be quiet and ready enough, we shall find compensation in every disappointment." Henry David Thoreau
. He comes here and rants. We all do. The consistency of his message shows that he is not getting anywhere. Neither am I 
. I'm just a little more fatalistic than he is, I guess.