Thanks, Chrissy, for taking the time to share your feelings with me. It is so helpful to get the view from the "other" side of the fence.
I even like your idea about apologizing, but not really apologizing. Problem is, she would see right through this and say, "that's not really an apology." She would also beg to differ on the subject of whether she wants a closer emotional relationship. She does, but doesn't think it has anything to do with sex.
Chrissy, she is a complex, difficult person. She blames everything she can on externals (me, her father), and refuses to admit she is wrong.
I understand the bad feeling you got when your H would say, "let's have more sex or I'm out of here." However, I went for two to three years of just simply asking her to make an effort to improve the physical part of the relationship before I finally, explicitly told her, "I will not stay forever in a sexless marriage." I don't threaten her with it constantly. I don't even really talk about it. She is the one who consistently threatens me with leaving because she "can't handle it."
I like the idea of trying to figure out where we are and where we are going in the relationship, setting goals, and a timeline. I may present this idea to her. I have little doubt, however, that she will reject it. But that shouldn't keep me from talking to her about it.
