wallowing

[MJontheMend]

I think your W's POV is unreasonable but understandable. Everyone wants to be accepted and loved for who they are no matter how flawed. For instance, your W's desire to be loved and accepted even though she is LD is in some ways analogous to my desire to be loved and accepted even when I'm 30 pounds overweight. Maybe she feels like she has little control over her sex drive and therefore can't feel secure in a relationship that is dependent on her sex drive. This would be analogous to the fact that I feel insecure in my relationship because I feel like if my H could act like a sh*t because I was overweight, what's to stop him from acting like a sh*t in the future when I'm wrinkly. OTOH your W's position is completely unreasonable because expecting you to be accepting of her LD would be the equivalent of me expecting my H to be accepting of the fact that I weighed 400 lbs. and refused to shower. Maybe what you need to convey to your W is that you can love her and still find her behavior unacceptable. Of course, if she really thinks in her heart of hearts that it is okay to be the LD equivalent of a 400 lb woman then I'm not sure what you can do.