I was wondering when you were going to chime in, Nop. Thanks for the pep talk (use of irony here...it means much more than a pep talk to me).
The thought of acting more like her father towards her has me baffled, but is interesting. I've tried to do everything to avoid acting like her father. Could you comment a bit on why you think this might help our relationship? Remember, this is a guy who, when she made a mistake, would say something like, "How could you be so stupid?!" I've actually seen him get this way with his wife, usually while performing a task (putting together a trampoline, launching a boat).
Your words on my conflict avoidance are very accurate. I'm working on it more and more. And I liked the message you set forth in the paragraph about the note. I don't think I'll do it in a note, though. Very little progress results from these kinds of notes/emails to her. And, I know from my past, that writing notes is my way of avoiding conflict. Yes, I know, conflict usually results from my notes to her, but the act of writing it out, carrying it in my briefcase, placing it somewhere where she'll read it after my escape from the house, and waiting for the inevitable phone call, are ways I avoid conflict. No, I just need to say it to her face.
Others who have written: Jenny, Lou, HP, FF, GGB, LG, your words of advice mean so much to me. This board is part reality check, part therapy, part b!tch session, part comforting embrace, and part brainstorming session. I really appreciate it.
Last night she didn't come home until fairly late. The only thing she said was that, having clearly told me now that she doesn't want to be touched in certain places while she sleeps, she wants me to respect that for the "foreseeable future." I said "fine." We slept in the same bed.
After about an hour, the Rohypnol took effect and I had anal sex with her while the videocamera taped it all. Just kidding.
