Hairdog, your W's attitude is almost 99% BS. Maybe its time to ask her to get to the core problem she has in life. Like hateing almost all men because a few are real jerks, or whet ever? Her weight or body image is some how flawed? People kill harp seals and make coats? She wishes your XW was dead or lived in Australia?
My point is, she seems to have unreasonable feelings and expetations for a married person. Would it be OK with her if you traveled almost all of the time and only came home 2X a year.
Maybe I am internalising to your situation too much. Despite the apperance of BB and I getting along better and having fewer conflicts, I am frustrated with the R and losing interest in sex somewhat like you.
In my case it would not take much to improve the M in many areas. I suppose you might feel the same in your situation.
My main point is, like usual, your W has some traits that do not seem to be realistic and refuses to see the M from your side. She seems to see it only from her POV which is way off the mark. I think your W needs a dose of reality. How do you think that "dose of reality" can be delivered.
