Hairy, There is nothing wrong with a husband reaching over and caressing his wife's breasts, with or without her explicit consent.
If it were a perfect stranger, uh yeah, you'd need consent. I'm not advocating all the fellas out there forcing themselves on their wives, but judging from what you've wrote on this board, that is FAR from the case in your home.
I think this needs to be addressed at therapy on Wed, and pronto. You've spent a long time with this lady and there have yet to be significant and measurable results in increasing intimacy.
That is interesting about the ADD meds. Personally I think people (adults, that is) who have ADD suspect it and are weary of the negative effects of it. I guess what I'm saying is: If you have to wonder if you have it, you probably don't. However, it sounds like you are having a good reaction to the meds and you were unsure soooooo, take my medical advice with a grain. My FIL definitely has ADD and has lamented many many times that he wishes he were "different". I doubt it has occurred to him that he has ADD (and far be it from me to mention it to him, that is not my place). The effects on his life are negative and painful to him and have been his whole life. He has a hard time (impossible even) making friends, his social graces are nonexistent, he was not successful in school or work (though he made a decent living..he just happened to luck into union work, in which he was protected), he cannot carry on a conversation with his mind wandering, he is jittery and, well, unhappy. He is a perfect candidate for medication and I could possibly be the last person who would suggest unneccessary meds.
I have no idea if you have ADD or if you are just sex starved, as NOP said. I am not naturally a "focused" person. I tend to drift and flit from one thing to another and can be very forgetful. However, I have never felt that this so severely impeded my interactions with other people, so I am reasonably sure that I do not have it. I would be careful of diagnosing (or having your wife do it) a personality trait as a disorder that requires meds.
I am sorry about her reaction to your loss of libido. I know that, with myself, if I lose my desire for my H, it is only a matter of time before I will stop loving him. They are so closely intertwined that it is hard to tell where one begins and the other ends. If she knew that, and I mean really knew it, I doubt she would have been rejoicing!
Take care my friend and good luck at counseling this week.
