dafty, sorry you have to experience the no desire from your H.
Quote: I have been on both sides of the coin
FYI I think many of ys here M and FM, have been on both sides of the coin.
Quote: This is hellish too admit, but no, there is nothing wrong with me. He cannot say well you need to lose weight or get a face lift or whatever....Ok, I know you will ask, so what have you tried so far? Well I read about how men like lingerie, blow jobs,
Sorry to say that these only work sometimes for some men. You could buy him a red convertible thinking he woud appreciate the gift and have sexual desire for you but that might be another unfullfilled wish.
To defend your H, yes feeling rejected for many years might take its toll on the M's love life and so does having ED. I suspect your H is very hurt inside because of the ED.
It may be because "he" lost a once pleasurable activity that "he" enjoyed for himself and a connection he was trying to make with you. He also may be sad that he precieves, with out an erection he can't really make you happy, so avoids sexual and intimate contacts. He might be able to see past his possible "no drive feelings" and think you need to just forget about sex.
My W (BB) thinks, because she is not that interested in sex and I am almost an old man in her version of life, I should just forget about getting any. She tells me I am abnormal, and for me to act my age. I can imagine your H might have similar feelings but won't say he does, because peoples feelings and reasons are so varried.
You say you want solutions to your H's lack of desire. You ask, is there something wrong with you. First, maybe we can help you. Maybe the books recommended here will help you or solve some R problems. What I am getting at is, to begin with, you only have "you" to work with.
I am encouraging you to post as much information about your M in general, books you have read, books or things your H knows about, some things you have tried, some things your H has tried, what worked, what did not work, and anything else you think might shed some light on the problem or solutions.
If you want a quick fix, I don't think anyone has any. If you are prepared for some slow and small improvements, stick around.
I am not saying I am right about my opinions for your situation. There are many intelegent people here, so give it a good try and keep posting. Best wishes. You came to a good place.
