If you ask him how long...you might also ask him what the appeal of it is for him too. That question might give you more insight.
Also, what is his past like? Prior to your M...are you aware of any unusual activity within his family, abuse, alcoholism etc. If these things existed it doesn't mean it "warped" him or anything like that....but depending on what he experienced...that could lead him toward wanting more control too. Is there anything in your lives (that you can think of) that he might feel out of control over?
