I would think that her health problems, while they sound bad, would not prevent her from being affectionate to you. Perhaps this is a way to bridge the gap between "we don't ML at all" to "lovers". It would be very hard to jump from one to the other with no lead-in, kwim?
I think letting her off the hook entirely is not the way to go. She needs to know how serious an issue this is. On the other hand, she should not feel so under the gun that it is making her health issues worse.
I think starting with affection--from her to you--would be a great place to start and would not require anything special..just love and goodwill towards you.
If she can't or won't give this, then you know that you are not dealing with a person whose health issues are preventing her from being sexual--you are dealing with a person who has such strong resentment issues that she can't bring herself to show you love.
