A, What DOES "give more consideration" mean to you?
What specifically were you referring to, when you said that?
I sometimes think the first step is in identifying what we want from our partner and then telling them in the clearest language that we possibly can. Otherwise you set yourself up for a barrage of guilt-inducing lists of things she is already doing.
For instance, if you would like for her to initiate hugs every day, then say "I would like for you to give more consideration to what I've been telling you. For instance, a hug from you--every day--would make me feel great."
Then allow her to decide whether this is something she can do or not.
The thing is...when everything is vague (give more consideration) then you will get vague answers in return. "I can't deal with this right now; it's too much like my dad and mom."
Asking for what I want is incredibly hard for me, for a variety of reasons. But it is the only thing that works. For some reason, vagueness on my part is translated into "she wants hang-from-the-chandeliers-sex when she says more consideration" in my H's mind. Then he gets defensive and excuse-prone and the whole thing goes downhill from there.
Try to think of what "giving more consideration" really means to you and looks like to you and how you will know it when you see it, and then go back to her and say, You know, when I was talking about consideration, I meant A, B, and C. Do you think that is something we can work towards?
