Quote: For him I think it is a control thing. Like F you because you told me I can't go out and have a drink. So I will and show you that I will not be controlled by anyone. He is like this about many things. Heck that may even be why his drive is low. Because it is something I am trying to control. It is something that bothers me and something that I call him on the carpet for constantly.
I've felt like this may be the case with my H also. His LD wouldn't be as much of an issue if it weren't for his oppositional personality. It seems to me you are really proving this to be the case with your H since he seems to be resistant to any reasonable request you make of him. He probably only feels like he should clean when he's in "the mood" to clean, for example. One thing I've often noticed in my sich along these lines is that my H is much less likely to want to see a movie if I am the one to suggest it. The tiniest demand or request brings up a wall of psychological resistance. If your H was 6 years old, you would have no problem understanding his behavior. You would simply tell yourself "He's being a brat.". Unfortunately, handling the situation as though you are the mother of a 6 year old brat can be counterproductive also, as I'm sure you know. Perhaps it would be better to treat such behavior with the mild disdain of a more mature peer rather than the upset anger or stern authority of a mother, though I do believe that you were right to draw the line when it comes to an issue that concerns the well-being of your children.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
