Green as always you are helpful. It does make sense. Maybe there is love buried under all this hurt. I do go off all the time. I even say hurtful things. It's like no matter what I say or how I handle it it never matters. So anger is like it has come natural. Because I am never listened to anyway. So I guess my mind set is to do it loudly.
I think a a seperation would be good at this point. I am not fully sure I want a divorce. But I feel I need space. I really need that space away from him right now. I think he is afraid deep down that if we do seperate I will find someone to replace him. He knows deep down that I am a good wife and mother. He also knows that I am a sexual woman. If I were to be single and find a new man that loved sex..then I am sure my husband thinks why the heck would she want to come back to me the LD man who masturbates a couple times a week but don't satisfy my wife.
But you are right I need to follow through. If he goes to the dating site again I will pack his bags and put them outside. I have even contacted a lawyer to see if it comes down to it if I can file a motion and make him leave. The lawyer is looking into it. I absolutely HATE to be ugly and mean about him leaving. I am just at a loss. Because I don't know what else to do. He refuses to go to counseling. He refuses to get help about his sex drive. Or at least look into the possibility that it might be medical. He is childish about finances. I am working my butt off at work and in the home because he won't help. He tells me he helps he just don't jump when I want him. He told me to make a list if I needed stuff done. I made and tried the list last week..he said my cleaning materials weren't up to par for him to clean the bathrooms. So of course I did it on my day off. I spent both my days off cleaning. He wanted me to work and now he seems like he has an attitude since I started working.
