Oh I know you weren't calling me stupid. I didn't take it that way as offending to me.

Green you said this.......
Quote:

I hate to say this, but I don't think your H is going to do a darned thing by your anniversary...I have a gut feeling he's trying to force your hand because he wants out and doesn't want to be the "bad guy". So he pushes and pushes, and does things like he does, that are disrepectful and hurtful....in order to push YOU to do something.





This was almost scary for you to have wrote this. To have picked up on it. Because I have felt this way for a loooong time. I guess that is why I am at a point where I am just tired of it. The one good thing we did is talk before marriage. We both laid out on the table what we wanted in a spouse. I have really thought about this. He wanted someone who wanted to have children.....I did. He wanted someone who wouldn't get married and think marriage meant sex stops.....I have never been that way. He wanted someone who didn't party as in his drugs because his ex did drugs and it really bothered him....I have never partied. He wanted someone who would never cheat as his ex cheated on him several times....I have never cheated. He wanted someone who would be a good mom. One that was involved and was a SAHM raising our children together. I was always this. In fact for us to have children it is something I also let him know was important to me. If I was going to have children I wanted to raise them until school.

Now through marriage I have been what he asked of. He did change on one of those things though. Through the years he had brought up a couple of issues....one I gained weight and I lost the weight. So no longer an issue. Number two...when out son was 3 he started making comments about me working. I told him for me to work I would pay everything to daycare. I told him we agreed to this from the beginning. This is something he seemed very resentful about. So anyway children are in school and yet another thing I have worked on. I got a job and am making pretty good money. Just one more thing that I could pinpoint that I could work on and it was an expectation of his. You would think he would be happy as can be. But I get the job and he offers very little help in the home. Making the only time off I have to be spent running errands and cleaning.Also he goes to that dating site and registers. Very hurtful things to do when your wife is out busting her butt which is osmething you expect. So I have come to a point where I am just ready to call it quits and I mean those words 100%. I can't and I hve tried to look at another thing I can do to fix this marriage. I have spent the last 11 years of marriage trying to be all he wnted and give him all he wanted. I am at a point where I am just tired of being the only one trying. I don't have it in me anymore. I keep trying to muster up some strength but I just don't have it. I always thought I would be an emotional wreck if we broke up. But when I think about it I am at ease and think positives. We have been working opposite shifts so I have gotten a taste of what it would be like. I found myself smiling more and less stressed.

He thinks that he doesn't have to work on anything. He thinks he is fine. He never offers an appology at all for anything. He never tries to talk to me or explain anything. Honestly it's like he lives in this fantasy world. he thinks he can find an even much younger woman then me which the age he put on the dating site was 20-29.....he is 40. Then give her sex twice a month (maybe) and masturbate the rest and it's like he thinks another woman could be thrilled with that. I don't know it's like he just doesn't get how much this hurts and affects a woman. Or how much less of a man any woman would think he was. When he has no sex drive but would register on a dating site.