I re-read my post and I certainly didn't mean to infer that you're stupid, but I can see how you might have taken it that way....so sorry. I more meant to imply that you were tempting him to delete those files....glad to know you retrieved them though :-)
I hate to say this, but I don't think your H is going to do a darned thing by your anniversary...I have a gut feeling he's trying to force your hand because he wants out and doesn't want to be the "bad guy". So he pushes and pushes, and does things like he does, that are disrepectful and hurtful....in order to push YOU to do something.
I suggest you don't leave the house though, you have the kids to think of too (and I know you have thought of them)....pack his bags and leave them on the porch for HIM. That way you've followed through with your ultimatum, but you aren't uprooting your kids....he's the one who should be inconvenienced, not the kids (like you don't already know that. )
I'm so sorry that he's not stepping up and being a man about this...unfortunately sometimes no matter how hard we try sometimes things simply don't work out.
)