Excellent attitude and you did very well with the offer. It was a show of caring and probably erased some of the recent hard feelings. You are still there for her in a difficult situation. And yes Gabe, there isn't anything better out there for her. In your words....there is no one fit to shine your shoes. Take care.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Count my prayers for your Dad, too. You're doing him proud in the way you're handling yourself and caring for W and S5 through this.
Boundary setting is going to stress the relationship at first, but it's the stress of healthy growth. Lighten your manner, but keep your healthy boundaries firm.
Thanks,
K
My sitch More importantly, Light A Million Candles
You can't just leave this thread open like this. I think I better close it down with the song o' day courtesy of Alan Jackson...remember when. Some of the stuff at the end will have to wait til you're back together.
Remember when I was young and so were you And time stood still and love was all we knew You were the first, so was I We made love and then you cried Remember when Remember when we vowed the vows and walked the walk Gave our hearts, made the start, it was hard We lived and learned, life threw curves There was joy, there was hurt Remember when
Remember when old ones died and new were born And life was changed, disassembled, rearranged We came together, fell apart And broke each other's hearts Remember when
Remember when the sound of little feet was the music We danced to week to week Brought back the love, we found trust Vowed we'd never give up Remember when
Remember when thirty something seemed old Now lookin' back, it's just a steppin' stone To where we are, where we've been Said we'd do it all again Remember when
Remember when we said when we turned gray When the children grow up and move away We won't be sad, we'll be glad For all the life we've had And we'll remember when
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Since this thread is closing down anyway I thought I'd post something from the daily OM (whatever that is). I would post it on my own, but I don't want to close my own thread down until I'm ready to go to piecing.
Quote: Giving The Freedom To Live Accepting The Journeys Of Others Each of us, in life, walks on the special path that the soul is destined to undertake. Our journeys are very different and we progress at different rates. The pitfalls and blessings we encounter are unique, yet we are all learning and no one form of knowledge is more important than any other. Even so, when we observe others, it can be easy to pass judgment on their decisions and to assume their actions will correspond with what we feel is right. But for every problem, there are a multitude of solutions. Everyone makes mistakes and, while watching others do so can be frustrating, it is important that you accept each person's unique way of doing things. Giving others the freedom to act in the way they feel are best without the fear of harsh judgments honors the capacity for growth that all people possess.
It is helpful to practice accepting others as they are. Never judge the decisions of others based on the path you would have taken because every person lives by different values and experiences. Challenge is a universal concept, but we all deal with difficulties in our own way. Give others the space to fail, but don't harden your heart against their experience. It isn't wise to try and fix people or control situations. You may feel compelled to intervene when difficulties arise, but it is important only to offer guidance when asked unless the person is involved in a truly dangerous situation or cannot act for themselves. Failure to choose the right path or to make enlightened decisions is simply another step on the journey. It is a means to experience and wisdom. Letting go of the need to influence others does not discount offering loving support and it does not mean that you need to stop caring. It does mean stepping back, dissolving judgment, and gracefully allowing others! to live their own destinies.
Giving others the freedom to blossom in their own journeys gives you the freedom to take more notice of your own. You may not condone the actions you see taking place, but your reactions will be more loving by letting them be. And you will be able to focus on just being yourself, confident that the path you take is as right, valid, and special as any other.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Why won't this thread lock up? Here's the message of the day...seems to go with DBing.
Many of us are taught, from an early age, to strive mainly for big dreams and to seek out equally large successes. We find inspiration in those who have overcome the greatest odds and those who have built the largest empires. But seldom do we look to our own lives for examples of victories, forgetting that any accomplishment deserves a moment of triumph. Life's little victories encompass both the moments that make you give an inner shout of joy and simple things like a job well done, finishing a daunting task, or making it through a less-than-pleasant situation.
Little victories can keep you optimistic about the big victories and help you retain a positive attitude, even when things are going wrong, because the small successes will stick with you if you take time to honor them. Look carefully, you will no doubt find little victories occurring throughout your day. Did you keep your cool in a tense situation? Resist the urge to spend unwisely? Find time to spend with your family? Pat yourself on the back when you notice a small success and make a mental note of it. Or write down a few things each day that can be considered little victories. Make your accounts detailed by outlining exactly what caused you to feel triumphant.
When we choose not to acknowledge life's little victories, deeming them insignificant, it is easy to become frustrated. Instead of staking your happiness on getting a promotion, buying a new car, or being the winner, stake it on your ability to conquer the ups, downs, and responsibilities inherent in living. In doing so, you will find yourself able to avoid being caught up in negative feelings by keeping one eye toward your next triumph.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Good post, Wes. Too bad some of our WAS wouldn't get anything out of it!
Here's my addition to locking the thread:
Happiness is a journey, not a destination. Think about this for a moment. We've been taught that getting the job, the relationship, the house, or some other want will bring us happiness. What often happens, once a dream is achieved, is that the happiness we longed to feel is fleeting at best, and then we quickly find ourselves thinking, "What else can I get to make me happy?" This thinking doesn't serve us. After all, how many times have we read tragic stories about the rich and famous, people who have money galore and every material desire, but still happiness eludes them.
So, the answer is not to stop dreaming and achieving our heartfelt desires, but rather to experience happiness on a more consistent basis -- to enjoy the journey. Here's another secret how you can do this -- treat yourself to some small, harmless indulgence on a regular basis.
If you do this, you are saying "yes" to happiness right now, not tomorrow or the day after, or 10 years from now. You are also expanding the positive energy around you. When this happens, you begin attracting people, situations, and material wealth like a magnet right to your side.
When you have a happy and positive frame of mind, you set in motion opportunities that will enable you to achieve the things you want most of all.
Since Gabe said this store is closed and no one is home, I think I'll just move in and use this as my new thread. It doesn't appear it will ever lock up anyway.
I was writing on a newbie's thread and it got me thinking of some things, especially in light of the Dieda book. This man sounds like he went along with about everything his wife said about career, moving, where to live, what to do for activities, who their friends would be, and was critical of things that he was interested in. He wondered whether he really wanted his wife back considering things weren't great anyway.
Which led me to my response which was...but did you give up who you are for her sake. Was this always how you were or did you bend for the M? She became a taker because you hogged the role of giver. I'm sure if we lose sight of the things important to us and the people that we are, our spouses lose respect for us. That isn't the person they married. Sometimes when we are making changes, we should be thinking whether we need to make the change back to the person that we were...that perhaps we changed away from for the sake of harmony. If other guys are like me, they are willing to go to great lengths to avoid conflict with the spouse. But sometimes we just can't without compromising ourselves.
I think in many ways I'm a better person, more able to handle adversity and more will to listen and respect the opinion of others. But since the bomb I've become perhaps too willing to settle for less. Is that who I am? Is that attractive? Just a thought. I need to look at myself and make sure I'm not sacrificing important pieces of myself for the sake of a R that won't stand a chance if I'm not true to myself.
I'll post this on my own thread as well. Just got a kick out of Gabe trying to boot us out of his empty house.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
