Thank you so much for the kind thoughts and prayers. Yes, my Dad's a fighter, and will face this with a positive outlook. He's a wee bit scared, but I think he'll have the right outlook.
Had an odd PMA booster that set my time with S5 well this weekend. A friend told me about an old TV series "The Courtship of Eddie's Father" that ran at the time of the early "Brady Bunch" series (69-72 or so). Anyway, the series was suppposed to be about a widower getting hit on, romanced by the women in his life, but became a love story between the father and his young son, Eddie. I actually had never seen it, but looked it up and decided that I'd borrow that slicked up 'Hollywood' depiction for the weekend - and it helped!
At pickup, the ILs were over, and S5 came out combative, apparently having argued with them about our family, God, religion, etc... What f#ck*ng bullies to gang up on a 5yo to try to brainwash him into their thinking! Losers! W had him dressed up to go to church, and when I loudly said, "No church for us! We're going to the beach!" W cringed and S5 shouted, "Yea!!" Quietly outside I mentioned to W that we were going to Mass at night. While outside alone with S5 and me, W looked at me and asked, "What's going on? What's wrong with you?" (I was very positive at this point, no grounds for immediate negative impression). I think I have her attention regarding boundary-setting. Hopefully, it has positive benefits in the long-term.
S5 and I went to the beach, and I taught him the basics of handling a board, surf etiquette, etc... He did great for 5yo! He rode one for about 20 yds, and we stayed in the water for 2.5 hrs before heading to lunch and then a movie. Had more fun on Monday in celebration of the 4th. We saw "Sharkboy and Lava Girl" at S5's insistence. In the plot, a boy's parents have a troubled M and they decide to stay together in the end. S5 insisted that W take him to see it also, and me again.
I've begun to worry about him having false hopes. I'm not giving up yet, but I'm worried about his being built up too high. So I've taken down several pics, leaving only a few of his family. All my pics of W are down in my office, save one profile shot that focuses on S5. This weekend, S5 asked me if I'd ever M another woman. I said that I don't want to, but that I would do God's will. I asked him if he wanted me to, and he said, "No!" "Me, either! Let's just work at being happy together, huh?" I replied. In this convo, S5 said "W says all you have to do is say you're sorry, and then you can come home." But I know this is wishful thinking on his part. I reassured him, and told him that this is Daddy's and Mommy's and God's work.
Crazymaker is quieting. I'm still struggling with it, but I know that I'll be okay.
Positives: -Neither of us in an R. -W was more attentive, respectful, softer in our recent brief contacts, even with ILs present. -Two FFs who haven't seen me in 2-3 mo stated "Wow, you look great!" and "My my, aren't you buff!" - I'm sure W is noticing. - PMA is increasing!
Negatives: - W's MLC behaviors continuing - W's spontaneous contact is very limited. - W seems to think I'm having $ problems (came up in a convo). Projecting? or just mere concern?
What f#ck*ng bullies to gang up on a 5yo to try to brainwash him into their thinking! Losers! W had him dressed up to go to church, and when I loudly said, "No church for us! We're going to the beach!" W cringed and S5 shouted, "Yea!!" Quietly outside I mentioned to W that we were going to Mass at night. While outside alone with S5 and me, W looked at me and asked, "What's going on? What's wrong with you?" (I was very positive at this point, no grounds for immediate negative impression). I think I have her attention regarding boundary-setting. Hopefully, it has positive benefits in the long-term.
