Yeah, As-If is key. Just saw "Cinderella Man." Great flick! Lots of As-Ifing in the film. I found myself mesmerized by his W's ability to support him and to feed his spirit in crisis moments. Not much of that in my M. Had to deal w/ W's attacks on my character/judgment during hard economic times. Never had a feel that she believed in me.
Odd thing is that the S and D have freed me to do just that. To prove to her that I'm a winner, and that I will thrive. I can still feel her watching me, despite her bravado of not caring. And maybe, just maybe, this time will help her to grow secure enough in herself to be able to support her man during any future hard times. Hopefully, I'll be that man.
Anyone ever try to mount a bodybag or speedbag in a home with loft ceilings? Do they sell free-standing frames/supports for that? Could do it in the garage but it gets awfully hot and humid here in FL.
Just got a kick to the gut. My sister in NM called this am to tell me that my Dad was diagnosed this week with malignant colon cancer. He beat prostate cancer about 6 yrs ago, but this is a doozy. I recall that he seemed much weaker when S5 and I visited.
I thank God for this DBing, as this news would have floored me before. Despite having a faith, one needs to live really disciplined to weather such storms.
Feels weird to be facing this w/out W. But now I know I can do it.
I am truly sorry about the news on your dad. I hope you can muster the strength to get through this. It always seem to pour when it rains. My thoughts are with you.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
Sorry for the news about your dad. I'm going to jump off the DB portion of this for a moment to say that this is also a beatable type of cancer. I'm sure at this point you only have a diagnosis based on a biopsy. Things from this point will depend on the depth of invasion and the status of the lymph nodes. Here's hoping that things turn out for the best. We're all with you buddy. If there is anything we can do just let us know.
In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years. Abraham Lincoln
It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed. Theodore Roosevelt
Gabe- Sorry to hear about your dad. I agree that big family moments bring home the sad fact of S and Divorce. I am reading your sitch and learning lots from it about me and my sitch. It will be hard to distance yourself from W while your dad is sick. Lots of self-care may be necessary right now! What can you do just for your own well-being (and no watching movies where the woman supports the H thru thick and thin, those depress everyone here on the BB!)bike ride, park with S5, picnic, special ice cream, watermelon, sparklers with him in your back yard, explore a tourist atraction nearby? Or simply a nap.
If your Dad is half the man you are, he will weather this storm.( And he must be to have raised as fine a son as you) I'll pray for him and your family. Like everybody else has said, if you need ANYTHING, don't hesitate to ask.
gabriel, I wanted to say i feel for you, man..and Hopefully God will bless you and your father with full recovery.. I find this thread a testament to you..you have a good network of friends here, and i am happy for you on that..keep up your good work, I too will remain your friend.Ukeejo
I am sorry to hear about your father's illness... I know that with all the chaos and craziness going on, I often find myself saying to God: "I know that you are testing me right now"... Despite the negative things that have unfortunately been thrown your way, you continue to amaze me with your positive outlook. You give me such inspiration and admiration for how strong a person you are. I continue to gain a great deal of insight by so many people on this site, including YOU... Thank you SO much for your last response on my post. It really felt good to hear you say that you think I have grown so much as a person. I know that I have learned alot by so many wise people on this BB, and feel that it is my turn to TRY to help others in pain. Thank you for taking the time to check in on me. You are an awesome person too, Gabriel. Your son is one lucky little boy to have such an amazing father!! Please continue to keep us posted on how your father is doing. You are in my thoughts and prayers. -KIM
