Gabe,

You've got a problem. I've been guilty of the same thing and still am on some stuff, but you definitely need to set some boundaries. Do you pay child support? If so, that should take care of some of those costs. If you agreed in the divorce to split stuff like babysitters/child care then do it.

1) Your ex still doesn't have to feel what it's like to be the single parent she chose to be. As long as you split the cost of stuff like these camps that she signs him up for then she isn't having to deal with financial reality. Those costs fall under child support. Plus by taking it out of rent she is deciding by herself what you pay for. What if she split the cost of a nintendo with you? I would suggest that you indicate you'll pay when you sign him up for stuff and that she pay when she does.

2) I can't for the life of me see why you are paying for housekeeping and yard care. Maybe yard care since you are the landlord. So now you are allowing her not to see what it feels like to be a single working mom. She doesn't have to come home and clean house. I would just indicate in passing that you are going to save money by discontinuing the housekeeping service.

3) Don't you dare say something about "you wanted to be a mother so why are you pawning them off on others" I don't think you want to even go anywhere near her mothering. Just figure that she has a different style of parenting and accept it. As she grows more comfortable with being a single mother things might change. They also might change if she becomes more financially strapped because you quit paying for everything.

4) Giving up coffee is crazy...it's the nectar of the Gods.

In the end, it's not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.
Abraham Lincoln

It is hard to fail, but it is worse never to have tried to succeed.
Theodore Roosevelt