Jo, no worries about the sex talk - I just needed some advice. Feel free to keep that convo going.
Hmmm. W has been cold, abrupt to me, but I've dealt w/ that fine before, knowing that things ebb and flow. My limit-setting had more to do with her happily (literally) assuming that she can spend my money for me. I think she has me locked into many husband responsibilities still in her mind, and she also has demonstrated a desire to keep my free time as busy as possible with him, while freeing up her time to do things on her own.
In addition, I need the house finances complete, as I may need to do some creative financing regarding a new vehicle and a business venture, and I can't have an ex-W associated with any of that.
I did tell her the prior posted message and she reacted angrily, saying that she didn't like me accusing her of stuff, but wouldn't elaborate. She also blamed me for not getting and submitting the quick claim form for her - "I have been waiting for months!" (not true - I had arranged it free for her in March, but she declined, accusing me of trying to cheat her out of her share of the home equity).
This is definitely not about money, guys. I could just work harder and hand her over more cash. But she is not my W anymore. She is my ex-W and doesn't enjoy the same benefits that she did in our M. This is about me choosing to enable her behavior regarding our son, then blaming me for the negative consequences when they occur (her unhappiness/emptiness, the relationship problems, bad events that happen). I reflected on it early this am after dreaming about it (dream journal, Jo!) and decided that I was unhealthily become non-assertive about this to peace-keep, but that seemed to bring MOTS behaviors on her part. This assertiveness and limit-setting on my part (while consciously trying not to manipulate her one way or another) is a 180 for me. I was quite a pushover for this stuff in the past.
I'm distancing for now, having communicated what I will and will not do, and will proceed with a focus on S5 and myself.
