Sorry to interrupt the sex talk on my thread! But I have an update I need feedback on.
Since coming back from NM, I've felt compelled to do some limit-setting. Told you about the work stuff already - minor, W still somewhat sore but likely respecting me a bit more. Today, I told W she still needed to do a quick claim form releasing her from any rights/responsibilities for the house. This was due w/in 1 mo of being bought out ~ April 25th, and here we are at June 30th and still not done. I told W it would cost (whereas my mortgager would have done it for free then).
A bigger issue was when I told her that I wouldn't be helping her to pay for more summercamps for S5. W told me yesterday, she had signed him up for 2 more, w/ her mode of operation being to do something, then "split the cost" with me by taking it out of her rent due me without my official okay. As she has no official duties right now, and as according to our divorce agreement, her role as primary residence parent includings the responsibility for any childcare costs, I feel no need to enable her pursuit of absolute freedom. Since our S/D, I've paid over $1000 for afterschool care/summer care, but realized yesterday that she would continue to dish him off to others rather than parent fulltime. My main concern is S5's welfare, with the recent fondling event in afterschool care (May 2) and of the babysitter setting a fire in my house (June 6) being a message to me that no one does it better that Dad or Mom.
I noted to her that I was puzzled by her choices, as I had been attacked by her during the D proceedings for not letting her be a mother (she had to work while he was still an infant), and yet she was choosing to be away from him now.
I'm feeling within me no fear about losing her. In fact, I think consistent boundary-setting will be the theme with W, as I was way too passive and acquiescent to her demands in our M, if only to keep the peace. This is going to be rough, yet I hope it buys more respect from her in the long run. Paying for her maid service and yard care ($126/mo) hasn't earned an iota of respect from her, in my eyes.
Gave up coffee ~ 2 weeks ago today. Feels great - much less of the jitters/anxious thinking I was experiencing before. But maybe I'm a bit grumpy?
I know that I need to pick my battles, and to be unconditionally loving, but I also feel that I need to keep some boundaries in place.
But I have an update I need feedback on. 
