Interesting subject going on here! hhmmm! sex & talk
My sitch was similar to Jo's. At time of bomb, ex was totally distant. I heard comments of 'that's not going to fix anything' and 'I don't want to just use you'.
Then when he started the div proceedings, he wanted to and I didn't. I finally gave in around the holidays. (a year since bomb, and 5 mos from being served) After d-day; I still had interest in sex, but that would only confuse him, always asking if I was 'ok w/doing this?'
I don't know if this will help since I am also a LBS, but I was at the point of WA during the div proceedings. What changed it around was a truce we called. Basically, when we stopped arguing constantly, I let go of my anger and my feelings for ex started to come back. Only then did his AOS mean more to me.
I finally gave in around the holidays. (a year since bomb, and 5 mos from being served) After d-day; I still had interest in sex, but that would only confuse him, always asking if I was 'ok w/doing this?' 
