I can tell the difference with my WAH though because when he's in 'off' mode, he will do an AOS, e.g, fix my computer, he'll chat politely and maybe accept a cup of coffee, and then he'll leave, promptly.
In between times, he never calls or emails or has any contact, even if it's about the kids and he can be totally silent for up to 5 days at a time.
In his 'on' mode, he does the same AOS but he notices my appearance and my clothes, he will compliment me. He comes up with reasons to hang around longer and he'll start texting and emailing about pointless things, so then I know he's interested.
That's the difference, but I think my experience still doesn't count as I am a woman and he left me. I would never leave a marriage unless I was being beaten or raped. I feel really strongly about the sanctity of marriage and the promises that are made.
