Loved yyour post, my friend! Man, what would we do without your stable sanity on this forum. Thanks for being the center of gravity here.
I love the approach of the second LBS that you had posted on. And the 3-year time frame seems just right. I am at year 2 guys and I can attest to this: Year 1 - W was extremely angry. I was an idiot. No changes in me. I did all manner of pursuit. Year 2- W cooled down but not sure of herself. I was still searching for answers. But I was learning to back off. Reading Deida helped a lot. It gave me so many "aha" and "duh" moments. LBS Guys, please, please read Deida. If nothing, it will give you a fresh perspective. Year 3- Physical space is closing down. W actually lay on my bed last night along with D3. She has not done that in a year folks. And touching has become epidemic. On Sunday we were at dinner and W was sitting across from me and our legs were in contact the whole time. Not in a footsie kind of way, just in "touch" and she left it there all the time. I experimented by moving it away and putting it back and she did not budge. My summary so far: Year 1: W trying to pull away. I am chasing. Sitch gets worse. Year 2: W starts to stabilize at a far away distance. I stabilize where I am. Year 3. W has started to come towards the R.
My guess is, with the present trajectory, IF we get back together it will take another year.
The main point I want to make is it is a 3-4 year sitch. I have seen and heard this over and over....We have to be prepared for this timeline guys and actually this is good because it gives us plenty of time to make ourselves into awesome human beings that our WAWs or any other future R partners would love to be with.
UD
The 3 laws of DBing:
1. PMA is critical to DBing.
2. Since drop in WAW's PMA leads to drop in LBS's PMA and vice-versa detachment is critical.
3. Validate to raise WAW's PMA and GAL to raise LBS's.
