Quote: Can we really do that with limited interaction?
I think it goes back to what you said earlier about projecting a positive and self-assured image. They are not going to show feelings of love for the early pathetic whining people we were. And likely they did not fall in love with us the first time we met; there may have been infatuation or lust; I know there was on my part.
But despite Hollywood theory, I have never fallen in love immediately. And any hope of restoring an R would have to follow along the lines of the beginning of the first R. Being a person someone (hopefully the XW) wants to be around.
Just as early in the R, we cannot predict or guess their behvaior, actions, reactions. And I guess the real truth is we need to stop worrying so much over them.
I hope we did not act like this when we first met; I suspect they would not have been interested in us. I know I have gained insight into paying attention and listening to her, but I do not think (the more I think about it as I write this) it is a good idea to change dramatically our behavior in hopes of extracting a given response or reaction. We can alter or reconsider negative actions and behaviors but if we start OVERANALYZING and overthinking every action and reaction, we are not being honest or genuine to ourselves or to the people we profess to love.
