Thanks for the caution. I actually appreciate it, and I'll be keeping my expectations low.
Worked hard today. Felt my PMA boosted by the BDay wishes by folks who seemed to go out of their way to let me know they cared. Made me wonder if others in this 'real world' have seen the changes in me.
W has packed up for Hawaii, and S5 and I won't see her for 16 days. It'll be rough on him and her (and me). I went over to pick up more clothes for S5, and W asked me to bath him and do his bedtime routine again. It was a bit comical of a visit, as both she and I have laryngitis (sp?) from a cold she gave me and from lecturing, so we sound hilarious in convo. I had a small train of 5-6 attractive young coeds individually come up for studying advice today after my classes (this never happens), so maybe my raspy, 'heavy smoker/auctioner' voice was sexy. W's sure was. S5 seemed out of sorts due to his mommy leaving for "an island" and he pulled out a bunch of pics about the house and his family "when we were together." I really have a hard time holding it together when he does this, but I did so - talking to him about our happier times. I reassured him that he and Mommy would be coming back to the house, and that we were all just leaving to have some fun.
W got on the phone w/ someone, so I left quietly after S5 fell asleep after prayers and a backrub. I ran an errand, then called her on the phone. We wished each other safe travels, and W admitted that she was a bit scared, noting "I've never done anything like this before." She said she appreciated me calling, and told me out of the blue that "I don't want to be around people or meet anyone. I just want to hike, and enjoy nature, and peace and quiet, and see things." Is this a reassurance, and if so, why does this theme keep coming up? (I'm not asking her).
Interestingly, W offered to leave the house open for me and S5, noting that we could hang out and do laundry there, as long as I "don't snoop." I told her that we didn't need access to the house. I don't want any flavor of suspicion dampening the progress I sense (nor do I want to wrestle with that temptation). Most of all, I want to communicate yet again the message: "I don't need you. I merely love and want you." But that is for later.
W's sure was. 
S5 seemed out of sorts due to his mommy leaving for "an island" and he pulled out a bunch of pics about the house and his family "when we were together." I really have a hard time holding it together when he does this, but I did so - talking to him about our happier times. I reassured him that he and Mommy would be coming back to the house, and that we were all just leaving to have some fun. 
